Friday, March 23, 2012

three O'clock in the morning

0 comments Posted by Justin at Friday, March 23, 2012

well,
it's new beginning for me.
and for her,
I heard she going to married
but when I tried to send her wishes
she told me is cancelled..

Recently,
everything are getting worst..
I don't know I still can take it for how long..
A little changes might helps..
Actually all I wanted is everyone are Happy around me.

I dislike when the situation turns worst then before
I kept silent is not because I weak
I do so because I don't want to have a fight between us..
there's a gap between us..
 I trying to fix it yet the gap but it doesn't go well..

stresssssssssssssssful
when I have to face those people who have faith on me..
what they expected from me..
and what they want from me ...
I kept failed them.
Is not me who like to failed what others count on me.
I always done the best

but
seriously 
not in sales..
when I'm getting higher than others..
people started to stared on me
bullshit behind nor even back stabbed
I know is common when I comes to work
just
I never expect it would be this serious..
come on
i hate MF = [ mother fucker ] fakers
don't be a fucking good actors in front everyone..
damn it, I'm sick with it..

God , please guide me to a right path..
when I still have a little faith.

Jiney , my stepsister 
thanks for being with me all these day..
as you told me
what happened when you all leave me here..
alone..
I would miss everyone + every single moment we spent together..
I'm praying that these relationship stayed strong :3 till forever

As you said,
I'm complicated 
in relationship..
I can call anyone Dear..Sayang or what so ever..
but for me
I don't really care
if I cared for you, I will stick with you whenever I free.
I spent minutes with you.
but 
if I just call dear + sayang .. in FB nor Msg
I'm just want my spouse pay attention on me..
want she afraid to losing me cause It felt the same way to me.
Well,
towards Rene
I do fall for her :)
but not anymore.. I have to stopped myself 
to 
stepping deeper into this trap once more
I escaped quick enough
else
It's gonna hurts once more.
Sorry
I'm selfish..I don't want to get any hurt
even everytime I be with her
the feeling are still there..
I will controlled myself not to..
Is a joy to hugs her in my arms
I worried whenever she went into troubles
because I afraid im not able to help..

She deserved better..

About Stella,
Maybe I'm looking someone to move forwards..
but still..

I just never realized that I had migraine
too much of stress 
and I had no way to released it..
I keep look for you , asked you out..
is just I felt better when I be with you.
at least 
I can be myself for that particular moment

Wedding Photographers
that's what they called me..
but
I'm still new 
thanks for everyone who gave me chances to do shooting in their big day in life.
every single picture
I make sure there's a soul in them :)
Looking forward for pre-wedding shooting.
somehow
there's much more to learn..
in photoshooting.
I looks more and more photographers and master pieces of their owns
I believed someday , I would be better than anyone of them
.
this is the spirit
not to competed but have a little things to makes me proud of myself.
I had giving up my arts..Design..
I just wish when the next morning I wake up
I would have seen my child chasing their own dreams..

My Family are getting better
they are much more harmony than previous..
:)

Amen

 

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